somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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