fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
