What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
