people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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