Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
