at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize