she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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