haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
What drink are we having for lunch?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
