dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize