I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
