Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
