Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
