Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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