You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
