suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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