Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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