Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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