the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
