I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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