1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
