seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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