My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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