You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
