one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
