do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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