Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize