If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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