I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
