I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All the doctor said was why
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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