break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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