Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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