I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize