just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
