there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
