love makes seman taste better
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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