How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
