That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It's Friday. Sex?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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