why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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