My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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