tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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