You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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