Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize