so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
don't judge my taste in strippers
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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