I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
