I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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