The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
