woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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