Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize