We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
