I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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