You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
