You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
