How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think your dad took our porno
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
