I love black thongs
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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