So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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