So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
