Yo dont text me then not text me
You work out of a Hotel?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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