Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize