problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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