dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Don't make out with my wife yet
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
