i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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