I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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