To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
