$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
