my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
